I Want To, Not Cuz I Have To...

Falling in love is easy. Being in love is a whole different matter. I've been through some rather messed up relationships with women. Now this would probably make me an "experienced" man right? WRONG! Love is such a complex matter. It's not difficult, but it is complex. Til now, I'm still learning how to love. Love my family, love my friends, love that special person. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 states:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

This verse has always been my foundation for love. Cause this is how God loves us. Cause He chooses to, not because He has to. He does not have to love us. He chooses to love us. In the same way, it is right to say we WANT to love, not cause we HAVE to. Being a boyfriend, it's not about the flowery feeling of having a girlfriend, or that excitement you get when you hug each other etc. All that is just the physical part of love. Love goes in so much deeper. It drives us to be better; not cause we HAVE to, but because we WANT to. Am I making any sense here?

I'm gonna use myself as an example ('again about himself' my mum would say). I used to be a very impatient person. I wouldn't say I'm not kind but there are times I can be a really mean a-hole. I easily get jealous over everything, not just about my dearest love but with my own siblings as well. To summarize, I was nearly the opposite from all the characteristics of love in the verse mentioned. Fast forward many many years later (plus minus a few girlfriends who were deadweight in my life), some of my friends have affirmed that I've become a different person. My patience has improved alot (I think) basically because I try to entertain my dear when she's moody or cranky or having a rough time or whatever reason you can think off to try my patience in a relationship. Jealousy is an area I still work on every single day but I believe that it is within my control now (it was uncontrollable when I was a wee lad). My temper comes and goes occasionally, but I've learnt alot about  self-control being with her. I'm still working on alot of areas that I'm weak in but I'm not getting tired. I don't have to be. Cause I want to be better. For God, for my family, for her, and for myself. It's not compulsory. Rather it's a choice. We all have that choice to make.

"Jesus, thank you for loving me cause You chose to love me. Teach me to love like You, unconditional and cause I want to love. Teach me to love with a cheerful heart and not one that is burdened to for Your love is generous. Amen."