Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The career God...


either you hit the right job, or you let the job hit you...
Continuing my ‘events’ that have come and gone since graduating from university… The one thing that most graduates dread for: Job hunting. Well, I’ve always prided myself for gaining work experience after major exams in past years, gaining new experiences and knowledge whilst earning some cash for myself. But this is the real deal. Everyone knows the scenario. You look for a job that you can grow and climb up the corporate ladder, get promoted, earn good money and possibly be rich and happy.

So I finally packed my bags and left my second home and went back… home. Yup. I left Sabah back home to Penang, taking with me some much cherished memories over the past 3 years that I will always remember. So after settling back home, celebrating Christmas with the family once again, I finally sat down and started job hunting. Not to say that I wasn’t doing that back in Sabah, but this was me seriously looking through the net, trying desperately to find and hopefully land a job that is related to my course. After browsing through the wonderful Jobstreet, I managed to land a couple of interviews for jobs that WEREN’T related to my field. Oh what the heck, I was just gunning for whatever may come my way. Little did I know that that wasn’t the way to roll.
My first interview was at a bank. Of all places and jobs, I chose banking. Joke of the year in my life indeed. Never got a response for that job opening anyway. Good. Cause I know I’ll suck at it big time. Then came the interview at a hotel for some call center thingy. Didn’t really appeal to me since it didn’t offer even a basic salary. Then came THE job. An interview that sounded good, job scope that was up my alley. Or was it? I accepted the offer to work for a so-called “eco” tour company, hoping that I could practice what I studied in uni. I just found out the hard way that in the working world, some bosses can just manipulate and entice a freshie like me into working for them. Promises of perks like a company car and phone would surely entice any fresh grad into joining the company. But here’s what I’ve learnt from my parents and in life. Work according to your priorities. In the case of being a Christian, the priorities SHOULD be:
i)             God;
ii)            Family and loved ones;
iii)          Work; and others that follow after that.
I’ve always tried to practice working around these priorities. Well, for my first real job, it was rather challenging. I had to work six full days. Monday to Saturday. Saturday. When my family goes to church to serve God as a form of our family time (tires the heck out of all of us but we still enjoy it… most of the time =p). As the days passed, I realized that the values practiced by my then boss weren’t as what I expected. I’ve come to accept that in the corporate world, it’s so damn easy for a big shot to say that he’s going ‘green’ and that he’s trying to help conserve nature or to promote ecotourism bla bla. Some of these ‘eco-friendly’ guys are just looking for avenues to make a quick buck out of an opportunistic opening whilst exploiting fresh grads.
I’m sounding like some activist fighting for employee’s rights, but that’s just how I felt during my short time at that company. I was tossed into a scenario where I was expected to produce results for a job scope that turned out to be NOT in my alley. From there on, I was in total hell. I’m not saying that I don’t like learning new things. I do and I enjoy learning new trades. But the way that company was going, how the boss was treating the staff, claiming that Penangites have a disease whereby they come early to work and clock off at 5.30pm sharp… it was just getting too much for me and I soon realized that this wasn’t a career I wanted to grow in (despite the numerous positive input given to me by mum).
The main point of this post is that I wanna share that God does take an interest in our working life. Some may claim that work and God don’t mix but I beg to differ. I’ve always believed that God was the one that made us have ambitions and dreams of what we wanna be when we grow up. And I’ve always held on to that belief that God will lead me to a job that He wants for me. Face it. If God wants a certain job for you, it definitely means that you’re gonna enjoy it right? So I turned to Him, praying for His hand in leading me to a job that He has planned for me. And what do you know? A friend calls me and says that he’s emailed me a job vacancy that is REALLY related to what I studied. Again, I didn’t stop to ask if this was what God wanted for me. But then again, I had his feeling deep down that this is His answer to my prayers.
So, the point of this long post? Trust God in everything, even your careers. Sometimes we may not get what we want or what we expected. But always have faith that somehow, God has plans for all of us. The thing is… Are we open enough to let Him work in our life? ;).
Don't we see this happening today?

Monday, April 30, 2012


“I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you. All the communities of the earth shall find blessing in you.”  Genesis 12:2-3 (NAB)
“For I know well the plans in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NAB)


one logo that will go down in history
I have been pondering and reflecting upon writing this post for awhile now, and as I was finding a suitable verse to accompany this post, praise the Lord that I chanced upon these verses.
I have spent a good number of years serving God in ministry. From the day I was confirmed a Catholic, I made a decision in my life that I want to serve Him, be it in music or reaching out to people. Per chance God’s plan, I met wonderful people in my church that brought me into ministry. From there, God worked in my life as my faith grew tremendously. I enjoyed serving Him through music, as I believed that it is a gift from Him that I enjoy and understand music so much. In 2008, the time came for me to leave home to further my studies in a “distant land” (though I was still in M’sia, but it was still across 2 straights and a sea). God led me to the wonderful “Land Below the Wind”, where He would still work in my life as well in the lives of others who have devoted their lives in serving Him.
I met a small group of Catholic students who were serving in, at that time, a newly organized campus ministry. Almost instantaneously, I knew that I wanted to serve there. So as time passed, I accepted the role of being one of the leaders in the ministry and worked together with the others in spreading the word and also in ministering through worship. As semesters went by, so did the old leaders while new ones came in by the grace of God. Many lessons were learnt along the way, both fun and painful ones. But one thing was certain though; god was working in the ministry.
I choose to view university life as the time to discover many things about ourselves, be it your future careers or even learning more about yourselves (strengths, weaknesses, gifts, leadership, and the list goes on). While some may seek to learn these through the various cocurriculum activities in campus itself, I found myself learning these things through the campus ministry in which I loved serving in so much. From growing with the leaders through various formations, to leading the community in worship and giving sharings on various topics regarding faith, these experiences and moments seem to stay close to my heart all the time.
Which leads me to how the 2 verses above connect with this post. One of the main challenges the leaders of the ministry always faced was finding new ones to replace the seniors once they’ve graduated and moved on to newer pastures. I’ve been keeping tabs with the progress of this blessed ministry with some of the leaders and also through the ever popular Facebook. To my amazement, God still calls people to his service. God still shows His plans for individuals as well as for the ministry. And I praise Him even more that these chosen Catholics have the courage to accept that call and have started to serve Him with open hearts and minds for the good of the ministry.
All I can say is that this ministry will continue to grow, to serve as a symbol for those who want to come to know God and serve Him. From having gatherings behind church halls and on a small obscure level in the university stadium complex to meeting in a wonderful youth center; from conducting worship sessions using laptops and mp3s to having faithful and talented musicians play on instruments, God never ceases to bless and work wonders in this ministry.
I pray that in the years to come, many more Catholics will come to serve in this great ministry, that many more will come to know God and how wonderful He is as He works in our lives, and how wonderful it is to serve Him in this ministry. To the current leaders who are helping to minister to the people in this ministry, have a blast ‘cause it’ll be one fantastic ride! To the past leaders who have served effortlessly, let’s be proud of how far the ministry has come for the past six years. After all, this is LIFEFIRE CAMPUS MINISTRY!!! 

Down memory lane with past leaders...


Ps: Please refer to my previous post “A Beautiful Contract” on being a member of Lifefire. Big thank you shoutout to Dass & Carmelita Xavier, Derek and Beatrice Chong, Mirina Lim, Denis Tsen and others who have helped guide current and past leaders in this wonderful ministry. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Want To, Not Cuz I Have To...

Falling in love is easy. Being in love is a whole different matter. I've been through some rather messed up relationships with women. Now this would probably make me an "experienced" man right? WRONG! Love is such a complex matter. It's not difficult, but it is complex. Til now, I'm still learning how to love. Love my family, love my friends, love that special person. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 states:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

This verse has always been my foundation for love. Cause this is how God loves us. Cause He chooses to, not because He has to. He does not have to love us. He chooses to love us. In the same way, it is right to say we WANT to love, not cause we HAVE to. Being a boyfriend, it's not about the flowery feeling of having a girlfriend, or that excitement you get when you hug each other etc. All that is just the physical part of love. Love goes in so much deeper. It drives us to be better; not cause we HAVE to, but because we WANT to. Am I making any sense here?
I'm gonna use myself as an example ('again about himself' my mum would say). I used to be a very impatient person. I wouldn't say I'm not kind but there are times I can be a really mean a-hole. I easily get jealous over everything, not just about my dearest love but with my own siblings as well. To summarize, I was nearly the opposite from all the characteristics of love in the verse mentioned. Fast forward many many years later (plus minus a few girlfriends who were deadweight in my life), some of my friends have affirmed that I've become a different person. My patience has improved alot (I think) basically because I try to entertain my dear when she's moody or cranky or having a rough time or whatever reason you can think off to try my patience in a relationship. Jealousy is an area I still work on every single day but I believe that it is within my control now (it was uncontrollable when I was a wee lad). My temper comes and goes occasionally, but I've learnt alot about  self-control being with her. I'm still working on alot of areas that I'm weak in but I'm not getting tired. I don't have to be. Cause I want to be better. For God, for my family, for her, and for myself. It's not compulsory. Rather it's a choice. We all have that choice to make.

"Jesus, thank you for loving me cause You chose to love me. Teach me to love like You, unconditional and cause I want to love. Teach me to love with a cheerful heart and not one that is burdened to for Your love is generous. Amen."

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I Feel Like A Monster...

We were all made in the image of God. But sin came, and led us down a path of destruction. Not the destruction of God, but the destruction of ourselves. I admit that I am a sinner. I'm no perfect guy, let me tell you. I have addictions that always seem to take hold on me, till I at times, I don't even recognize myself anymore. I struggle to find the root of all my sins till at times I just wanna give up. I know I can't do this on my own. I remembered feeling how God can still forgive me, and all of us, day after day for the sins we've committed. And I wondered to myself; "If I was God, I would hate myself"
Sin makes us all monsters It festers right under our skin. If we give in to it, slowly, we begin to lose ourselves to it until we really are monsters. One example I can think of is Ted Bundy. A horrific example of a monster. So here's a song about sin for you all (lyrics included). 


VERSE 1:
The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
CHORUS:
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
VERSE 2:
My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

BRIDGE:
It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster
  
"God, help us to fight the monster within us. With You, all things are possible."

Monday, September 26, 2011

A Beautiful Contract...

a wonderful long conversation with some good friends of mine at office led me to writing this post which will affirm the numerous people that have, and are, like a second family to me since my departure for pastures new back in 2008...
Dulu-dulu... back in 2008, I had just started my journey with the High Almighty Dude Up in Heaven... Was serving alot in ministry and in church till I became a prodigal son at times to my parents. Then came the day where I went to further my studies in the kingdom known as University so that i don't end up being short of knowledge and to land a decent job in the future (hopefully). Yes, I was sad that I was gonna leave that small little island I called home for 20 years in my life, but it was also an exciting start to a brand new chapter in life. To cut to the chase, I got involved with the campus ministry in the aforementioned kingdom of "Universiti M'sia Sabah" @ UMS. Ended up even becoming one of the leaders to serve and reach out to other Catholic students in campus, all the more at the same time deepening my faith in Him.
It's been 3 years since my fateful joining of that ministry. And I quote my friend from this morning's sharing: "You join this ministry it's like signing a contract; a contract for long-lasting friends that walk with you through every difficult and joyful moment". When I signed this contract, He guaranteed me wonderful people with the likes of Mary Anne Balthazar, Brenda, Suh, Ester, Joannes, JillianYvonne, Sharon, Emmanuel, Ambrose, Valerie, Debbie and not forgetting introducing me to my current love, Patricia.
Let me just take this opportunity to sincerely thank the people mentioned for your love, support, guidance, affirmations, yellings etc. as it really has made be become a better person.


LIFEFIRE FOREVER!!!